Until Next Time, St. Pete

We begin our road trip back home late tonight/early tomorrow. When we packed up our car and headed south my heart was so heavy. The pressure I felt, the fear, the uncertainty, the desperation. I felt in my gut we needed to make a change. I did my research, I interviewed Dr. Smithers, I made the decision to come to Florida for this surgery. It was not what our Chicago team suggested. So when we rolled into town I was scared. I NEEDED things to go well. It felt like a lot of pressure on me. I felt the heaviness on my chest with every single breath I took.

Being Milo’s mom can feel like I have multiple personalities. I play a different roll for everyone.

Charlie’s fun director.

Milo’s advocate and medical mom.

Jons rock and wife.

Upbeat and happy maybe even fun for everyone else.

Anxiety ridden and desperate for positive results.

Having Milo come through surgery so strong and crush recovery allowing him to leave the hospital in time for us to enjoy Florida for a while before departing has been….Everything.

Having him join us at the beach, the pier, walks spotting dolphins and manatees, and so much more is like nothing I can describe. But if you know you know. The smiles, the giggles, the memories. I’ll never forget it. I’ll never forget this feeling. I’m so proud of all of us.

For Milo being the bravest strongest boy.

Charlie for overcoming another hospital stay, missing school, her friends, her dogs, home. Sharing her mommy. Working through her jealousy the best she could.

Jon for working his butt off while we are here all while balancing his time with his family.

And I’m proud of myself. For not settling, ever. For making the hard decision. For packing up our clown car and dragging us down here with no guarantees. For surviving the ptsd of another hospital stay. For making the most of our time post discharge.

Tonight we leave St. Petersburg.

Sun kissed and happy. Hopeful this is the beginning of healing for all of us. And a slightly easier journey going forward.

Until next time, St. Pete

! (Until I raise funds to start a tourist trap down here and move the fam)